"[boys] are like buses; miss one, next 15 one comin.."

i NEEEVER thought i'd take any kind of social/personal que from Gucci Mane but i can relate heavily with the line "girls [boys] are like buses; miss one, next 15 one coming.."

UUGGHH!


i may be wrong, i really wish i am, but i have to be prepared that this person may not want to be with me anymore. and it hurts. badly. i have given sooo much of myself to this person. i couldn't see anyone stepping into my life from behind him but idk, he's making it look as though that may take shape.


from JUMP i said i never want to feel more then the other person in the 'ship with me. but i have learned that it is possible. and that i may have fell in love for real this time and he may not be. he could love me. he could be in love with me. he may not love me and he could very well not be in love with me. but i need to rejoice in the fact that i fell in love regardless and i gave all i have.


when someone says they need space from you and you gave them space PREVIOUSLY and they get pissy at you for being "proactive" and you end up apologizing..like, why?!


grrrr!


or when you offer to take that person out on you and they say "lets just go somewhere quick." and you say why??

and then 3 hours later they ask if you want to go dine in at a restuarant with them and his friends.

in the past 2 mos, honestly, i have not had HIM to myself. HE's always occupied with work...or being "political" with co-workers he doesn't even like...but he can't hold hands and go to a park with me. or go to the pier like we once did. or watch a movie i wanna watch or let alone be open minded about the film.


but when he watches his movies, i'm fine even though they are dumb. or if he wants to go get drunk and then DRIVE to out...idk


this is stupid.


all i can say, no phone call and that's it.


oh, and i want my PULP FICTION back.

i'm not losing another movie to ANOTHER butt head.